The CV of a Pakistani Politicain

By Zafar Imam

Mr. Corrupt

Power Corridors of Islamabad

Email: mr.corrupt@islamabad.com

Objective

Looking for an opportunity in any government – be it democratic or autocratic – to maximize the profits of capitalists, landlords and give a legitimate cover to the interests of military in name of ‘national interests’, where I can prove myself the best ever servant of global imperialist interests. My objective in last analysis is the defense of private property.

Qualifications

  • Masters in the arts of loot and plunder
  • Intermediate in Pre-feudalism
Suite of Skills (that can make a difference)
  • Cheating and deception
  • Working Knowledge of falsification
  • Methods of treachery
  • Motivation skills to divert the attention of masses
  • Able to switch my loyalty in favor of any parliamentary party
  • Cunning
  • Excellent Reporting Skills to Washington DC and GHQ
  • Able to use religion for personal gains
  • Able to be defend the interests of local and international capitalists
  • Able to privatize the whole country – for the honorable class interests of local and global bourgeoisie.
Dressing Skills
  • Excellent in dressing according to region where I have to make speeches. A Sindhi Topi and Ajrak in Sindh, Pashtoon Turban in KPK, etc
Language Skills
  • Able to read written speech in any local language where I have to address the people of that particular language

Experience

  • Adulthood to Present – head of mercenaries and gangs originally formed for land grabbing, murder, theft and other street crimes – now using it for political purposes.
  • 5 years experience of working with multinationals to help them maximize their profits.
  • 2 years experience in diverting working masses from their original issues.
  • 1 year experience of conspiracies against the general public.
  • 6 months experience in creating sectarian violence.
  • 1 month experience in creating ethnic violence.
Personal Data
Age My age is legally equal for being prime minister of the country
Marital Status Not of any body’s concern – frequently use prostitutes, kidnapping and rapping
Domicile Pakistani
Name Mr. Corrupt (found in every political party)
References
  • GHQ
  • Washington DC


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3 Responses

  1. really nice comrade keep it up….

    • thanks comrade :)) keep visiting! we will strike capitalist society and all its manifestations in a fun way

  2. Great effort comrade keep it up

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