How to become a Tahir Ul Qadri Prototype

Zafar Imam

Well, if you have caught on the recent ‘revolutionary’ storm which is uprooting Pakistan, and if you are a ‘Ghaiyratmand, bellyful, patriotic AlBakistani‘ you sure would like to become a Tahirul Qadri prototype. The bubblytude Mullah,  who is suffering from puppy fart syndrome,  came running from Canada with Radar Ass active. He was delivering a high voltage speech in Karachi that day. The crowd was sheep-locked in the ground, giving a notion of a Nerdist colony.

So many cynic people in Pakistan are taking a serious note of this Last Minute Helper. Here we have provided a simple guide to become a Tahir Ul Qadri prototype. If you feel like you are a cynic enough and won’t feel any shame and will  not be familiated at home, give it a go.

Things You Need

– A Rounded Topi

– Googles to deceive with your mischievous eyes

–  Good Connections with Masters Not Friends 

How Tos

1. Maintain a mysterious face while giving occasional smiles, keep your sherwani well pressed.

2. Be animated as if you don’t, you’ll be annihilated.  Pose like a bubblytude.

3. Forget often what you said last day. Even if you remember, act like you have forgotten everything when asked.

4. Keep changing your statements, swear by God often.  Don’t commit promises without a swear-spree.

5. Keep your backdoor open, for masters may enter anytime and give you fresh instructions.

6. Be eloquent in delivering speeches. Remember the formula for delivering an average ‘revolutionary’ speech now-a-days common in Pakistan. Well, the formula goes like this: Your Doctrine + Poetry of Faiz (Jaalib) + Verses from Holy Book*Swearing by God*Promises + Your version of Biblical Shit.

7. Emphasize on neoconservative chauvinist patriotism. Talk more of national sovereignty and Ghaiyrat. Never forget to mention Drone Attacks and killing of innocent citizens.

8. Without talking about revolution, you are going to fail. Pakistani masses have found their love with revolutions, whatever  form and content of such revolutions is, all is acceptable. Change is a commodity, Revolution is a market word, use it to your benefit as much as possible.

Tahir Ul Qadri

We are sure, this guide will help you become a Tahir Ul Qadir prototype and will serve your purpose. Though, becoming a Mahir Ul Qadri out of a Tahir Ul Qadri is some what challenging task. For that, you’ll have to find a party like MQM. See you on Jan. 14

5 Responses

  1. Zafar very nice tips,really good guide- well written

  2. ur article is bullshit. maybe because your head is full of it thats why.

    • Well dear ron burgundy, by now its clear that who was bullshit. Mr Qadir has winded up his sit-in after negotiating the conditions of his defeat.

  3. never reead so much rubbish in my life!!!! you sat in your own house acting all big and hard get into the real world honey!!!!

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