How to quickly get laid on Valentines day in Pakistan?

Happy Valentine's Day Pakistan.

Happy Valentines Day Pakistan.

Disclaimer: This post contains slang; please do not read if you are offended. People with too much Haya, Sharam, Ghairat and pious character may also not read it. Reader discretion advised. This guide is intended only for men. Do women still exist in Pakistan, by the way?

Things you’ll need:

  1. A  Burqa/Hijab to hide yourself.
  2. Some dates (khajoor) as a replacement of chocolate.
  3. A camel (goat will also suffice) to ride and make love with.

Precautions: Never try to tease or cajole any Burqa-clad woman, who knows if she is Maulana Abdul Aziz. Lift her Burqa on your own risk.

Molana Abdul Aziz in Burqa

Molana Abdul Aziz in Burqa

Molana Abdul Aziz alias Molana Burqa

Molana Abdul Aziz alias Molana Burqa

If you haven’t found a date yet and want to get rid of some testosterone, masturbate only on your own risk! This blogger does not bear any responsibility if your genitals are banned in Banistan aka Pakistan by PTCL’s blocking software.

Surf youtube and porn only through proxy servers, because they’ll still be kept banned on this day. You are a brilliant, porn-loving, taboo breaking nation. Proud of you, my fellas. You still rank #1 in Google’s porn search terms on entire planet, despite the fact that there is much talk about celibacy, chastity, Shariah and purity in your favorite TV talk shows.

Here are the tips that’ll help you quickly get laid.

How To:

1. Find a mating partner, hunt for him in a sanctuary preferably. Ideal mating partners have gone long ago towards mountains in North Waziristan; they are also blowing themselves with bombs. Thus, if you do not find such an ideal partner, use your camel, goat or donkey.

2. Find a Hujjra (Mullah’s traditional abode) for mating. For this place would likely be more secure than any other place in entire country. It will also give you moral cover.

3.  Do eat enough palm dates to muster energy inside you. Also offer those to your animal or boy partner too.

4.Undress yourself and then wear Burqa. For, even if you are caught, nobody will be able to clearly see what you were doing inside.

5. Straighten your Burqa once when you are done. Finished.

Happy Valentine Day,  Habibi   Hope you enjoyed this Halal Valentine.

A Halal valentine with a goat.

A Halal valentines Day with a goat.

One Response

  1. Your mom must have enjoyed this day…

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